How to Learn Self Love: 10 Healing Steps to Build Confidence & Inner Peace

[Updated: 8.23.25]

This morning I woke up and realized that I love myself.
No, I really mean it.

For the first time, I can say I love myself wholeheartedly — flaws and all.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve never hated myself. But for years, I was my own harshest critic. No matter what I accomplished, it never felt like enough. I wasn’t giving myself the same love and grace that I so freely gave to others.

The turning point came about five years ago, after ending a relationship that drained me. I had spent so much energy trying to be loved by someone who didn’t have the capacity to honor me. I thought if I poured enough love into him, surely he would reflect it back. But instead, I found myself shrinking under his criticisms, searching for validation in places that left me empty.

How to Journal for Self Love

One morning, in the silence of my healing, I asked myself a question that changed everything:

How can the people in my life truly love me if I haven’t first showed love to myself?

✨ That’s your first journal prompt: What would change in my life if I loved myself the way I want others to love me?

If you’re ready to explore questions like this, I’ve created a free gift for you — my Self-Love Journal Prompts PDF. These pages will guide you to uncover the patterns that keep you from loving yourself fully and help you write your way back to worthiness.

But first, let’s talk about what self-love really means.

My self-esteem was at an all time low, and I had to make a change. It started with a search… I started praying, mediating, and reading anything I could get my hands on that would help me restore my self-love.

What Does Self-Love Really Mean?

Self-love isn’t selfish. It’s survival.

70 Self-Love Affirmations to Change Your Life

It means choosing to speak to yourself with compassion instead of cruelty. Self love means treating your mental health with the same urgency you’d treat a physical wound. It means giving yourself permission to rest, to grow, to be loved, and to take up space — unapologetically.

Signs of a Lack of Self-Love

Maybe you’ve been there too:

• Negative self-talk that drowns out your inner cheerleader
• Staying in unhealthy relationships because you fear being alone
• Struggling to set healthy boundaries without guilt
• Feeling unworthy of love, success, or joy
• Ignoring your physical health and spiritual growth

If any of these sound familiar, know this: you’re not broken. You’re just being invited to come home to yourself.

Why Self-Love Matters for Mental Health & Healthy Relationships

Easy Steps to Learning How To Love Yourself Deeply

Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have. If you’re running on low self-esteem, you’ll find yourself over-giving, people-pleasing, or tolerating things you don’t deserve.

But when you practice self-love, you create space for healthy relationships, mental clarity, and personal growth. You stop waiting for someone else to hand you the love that has always been yours to give.

10 Steps to Learn Self-Love

1. Quiet Negative Self-Talk

More: Free 7 Day Journal Prompt Guide for Breakthroughs

Start paying attention to the inner critic. Replace “I’m not good enough” with affirmations like: “I am worthy of love just as I am.”

💡 Journal Prompt: What are three negative thoughts I repeat about myself, and how can I reframe them into affirmations?

2. Set Healthy Boundaries in Daily Life

Boundaries are love in action. Say no when you mean no. Step back from draining relationships. Protect your peace like it’s the rare jewel that it is.

3. Practice Self-Care Beyond Bubble Baths

True self-care is choosing what nourishes you deeply. That might be cooking a healing meal, moving your body, meditating, or journaling before bed.

(Try my Anti-Inflammatory Juice Shot as a daily ritual to fuel your body with love.)

4. Embrace Personal Growth & Spiritual Healing

Whether it’s therapy, journaling, or prayer, growth is how you remember your own strength. Spiritual practices remind you that you are already divinely loved.

5. Forgive Past Mistakes and Let Go

You cannot heal while holding yourself hostage to yesterday. Forgive yourself — not because you’ve forgotten, but because you deserve peace.

6. Affirm That You Are Worthy of Love

Look in the mirror and say: “I love myself fully and I am enough.” It may feel uncomfortable at first, but affirmations are seeds. With repetition, they grow.

7. Nurture Your Mental Health

Rest. Ask for help. Journal. Move your body. Mental health isn’t a luxury — it’s part of self-love.

8. Surround Yourself with Healthy Relationships

Choose people who remind you of your light, not those who dim it. Healthy relationships should feel safe, supportive, and expansive.

9. Celebrate Small Wins in Daily Life

Did you drink water instead of soda? Say no without guilt? Rest when you needed to? That’s growth. Celebrate it.

10. Commit to the Journey (Even When It’s Hard)

More: Morning Rituals for Self Love to Start The Day Right

Self-love isn’t a one-time decision — it’s a daily practice. Some days it will feel easy, other days heavy. But every small choice to honor yourself is proof that you are learning to love yourself more fully.

Final Thoughts: You Are Worthy of Love

More: Morning Rituals for Self Love to Start The Day Right

Self-love isn’t something you earn — it’s something you return to. You were born worthy, and you’ll always be worthy.

Today, ask yourself: What would it look like if I loved myself completely?

If you’re ready to go deeper, grab my free Self-Love Journal Prompts PDF. Use it as your guide to explore, release, and reclaim the parts of yourself that have always deserved love.

More Self Care & Healing

• The Ultimate Healing Self-Care Trip in Tulum
• Top Self Care Tips for Women
• Immune Boosting Fire Cider Recipe for Cold and Flu Season
• 70 Self-Love Affirmations to Change Your Life
• 11 Self Care Rituals that Stick