Motherhood & Chronic Pain | How to Find Balance
Motherhood is truly a blessing! I have loved every single moment of it. Our dance parties are lit. And even being able to confront my child during our 1am, 2am, and 3am chill seasons while navigating new teeth and a snotty nose has truly made my heart full. I prayed for these days, and God saw fit to make it my reality. Now it’s time to find balance between motherhood and my chronic pain.
From conception of Klay to our difficult delivery, I protected myself from negative thoughts to ensure we made it to the finish line and we did. And now I find myself going through the same process with Endometriosis.
I am a mother.
I am a mother that has Endometriosis and is re-learning my life with a chronic illness.
For the last 14 months, I have been able to keep my stage IV pain a bay thanks to the joy of breastfeeding. But the reality is, soon Klay won’t need to be breastmilk. Well, let me rephrase…Soon, it will be time to whine Klay from breastfeeding because now it is more of a social comfort activity verses a nutritional need. And as we slowly make that transition, every month I am re-introduced to another level of Endo pain that I haven’t experienced in years!
Two years of living pain free has been an indescribable gift that only women that go through it sometimes on a daily can understand. For a moment, I thought just maybe my pain wouldn’t come back. I thought just maybe I had given my body enough time to “shrink” my Endometriosis.
I was wrong.
I was so focused on making motherhood a reality that I didn’t give too much thought to what life would be like trying to manage Endometriosis and a growing little one.
I snapped back to reality real quick! I realized I had to realign some things and come up with a plan if I wanted to stay in a good space with my Endometriosis.
My health, releasing stress, maintaining a healthy diet, and listening to my body are now my top priority. Simply because I can’t imagine my son seeing me in the debilitating and crippling pain that wouldn’t allow me to pick him up or hold him. I honestly, can not fathom dragging Klay to the emergency room because I am in pain. And it is my goal to never see that occur.
It is all about balance.
My sister said the most profound words to me this year — You can have it all, just not at the same time!
Start by subtracting everything, and slowly adding it back in. I started this new journey in my life like a blank page. I released all activities, responsibilities, except for my family, and slowly started adding it back in to see how it made it feel. I took a long much need break from work, shutdown my social media activity, calls, texts, everything for 7 days.
I took time to mediate and become clear about what is important in my life. Paying close attention to my body and things that served as triggers — food, conversations, environments, everything. Took the time track my symptoms and come up with a plan.
How to Find Balance Between Motherhood and Chronic Pain
To find balance between motherhood and chronic pain, you have to prioritize your health and well-being. It benefits no one if you are not at your best. And the reality is as a woman, we get so use to sacrificing our time and needs until that one moment you just can’t anymore. So instead of waiting for that moment to come, make time for your self-care everyday!
- Make a Life Plan. Write out your goals for your health, your family, your career and your life. Revisit it often to make sure everything is alining with what you need and want in your life.
- Mediate. Start your day being still and listening to your body. This is a practice that I am still mastering, but I realized that my body will signal early on when something is right.
- Acupuncture. When I tell you acupuncture has be a true gift! The one thing about Endometriosis, it can travel to all parts of your body. And my acupuncturist has been able to help me find short-term and long-term relief.
- Meal Plan. Food can make you feel great or horrible, and I started dedicating some real time and energy
- Stress Less. This is easier said than done with a toddler and everything else life can through at you. But, the reality is stress has been directly connected to Endo flares. And it is like pouring gasoline on a fire. Release the things you can’t control and know that it will all workout!
- Stay Positive & Laugh. Write yourself notes, find videos that make you laugh, read inspiration books, find a inspo-buddy. Whatever it takes! Make sure you are taking the time to bring in positive energy everyday.
- Make a List. This is the one thing that makes my life so much more manageable. Everyday a make a “do-list” to help me prioritize all that life throws my way. If it is not on the list, it will have to wait. Life will keep going.
- Make Time for Rest! Not just sleep, but real rest. Where nothing else is going on. It’s just you and whatever you need in the time of rest. If rest means no kids, no kids! If rest means reading, read. It is just time when you can cut your brain off and just be.
- Enlist help! It truly takes a village to raise a child. If your don’t have one, it is time to find one because you can’t do it all on your own. You are going to need to find someone you can trust to help you along the motherhood journey, as well as, give you those rare opportunities to breath.
Let me be clear, being a mom is hard work! You may look at this list and think “how Sway”! But, the truth is you gotta do it. Start with taking one step per day in the right direction, and get to a place where your are prioritizing your health and well-being.
For me, that meant taking a long break from everything to get clear. Do what you can, and just know you have to do it. For yourself and for the ones you love.
What’s Next
Now that I have been able to tackle infertility concerns and fight pass the black mortality epidemic, it’s time to stay healthy. It is important for me to think about my long-term wellness plan. As a mom with Endometriosis, I am now considering on a journey with medical marijuana and considering medical procedures to maintain my pain levels.
Looking forward to sharing more with you all soon! Let me know down below where you are on your journey with Endometriosis and/or any other chronic illness.
